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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27666143">All Good Things....</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/JackiLeigh/pseuds/JackiLeigh'>JackiLeigh</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 06:07:34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,038</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27666143</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/JackiLeigh/pseuds/JackiLeigh</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>FINALIE SPOILERS:  Do Not Read this if you have not watched the finale.  Some graphic descriptions.  I just filled in a few holes.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>All Good Things....</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dean was dying, right before my eyes. And there wasn't a damned thing I could do about it! He asked me to stay with him. I was not going to deny him that simple, heart-wrenching request. He didn't want to die alone. It took everything in me NOT to pull him off that metal rod. But, it would have only caused him to die sooner. And, in a great deal of pain. I couldn't do that to him.</p><p>Dean hadn't seemed to be in any pain while he had been talking to me. He started to have a bit of trouble speaking. But, the pain was not there. And for that I was glad. I'm not sure how the human body can absorb such a great trauma like that, how throbbing nerve endings can be silenced. Maybe it was Dean's willpower. He's always been a strong-willed person. Maybe his brain told his body not to stop functioning until he had said what he felt he needed to say.</p><p>I finally pulled Dean off the rod that had impaled him. It had seemed like hours, me standing there holding onto him. Trying to absorb the reality that he was gone. Trying to absorb the fact that I had told him that he could go. I finally sling his body over my shoulder and carried him out to Baby. I put him into the backseat. Then I covered him with a blanket. I didn't want those children to be more traumatized by seeing Dean there in the back. I found the children easily enough. I put them both in the front seat with me. Then I took them home.</p><p>The pyre took hours to build. And, I wanted to make sure I had done it up right. It needed to be the best one I had ever done. And, in that moment, I decided it would be the last one I ever did. I would see no more of my friends and family be done this way. The life had taken Dean, it couldn't have anything more that I cared about. I would not let it.</p><p>Dean couldn't walk away. He felt like he had nothing else to offer the world. He was wrong, of course. But, he didn't see things that way. Dean was a lot smarter then he let anybody see. He could have gone to college. He could have done…many things.</p><p>He didn't have to die at the hands of vamps, in their nest. He shouldn't have died that way. I wiped the tears from my eyes. Those thoughts occurred randomly, and without warning. And they always tore me up inside.</p><p>I had done that last hunt in Texas, as a favor to Donna. And then I walked away. I turned off the lights and left the bunker. I took a few of my clothes. I don't need much. I took Dean's leather jacket. His pride and joy, besides Baby. And, of course, I took Baby. I cast a spell over the place, locking and warding it. Basically, hiding it from those who might look for it. I had to leave, it no longer felt like home. Every room, every pot, every pan…it was saturated with memories of Dean and our time there. It never felt like home after Dean died. And, I no longer needed its protection. I was no longer hunting. I wanted no part of that life.</p><p>It was horrible having to tell people about Dean. Donna was devastated. I didn't want to have to tell her, at all. But, she needed to know. And, I had to tell her in person. I couldn't…. It was awful. Then I had to go tell Jodi and the girls. That was horrendous. I couldn't let them just 'find out.' And, seeing me there, without Dean, made it very real.</p><p>I would find myself thinking of Dean at the oddest times. I would be driving down the road, and I would see him, standing on the side. I would spot Dean in a crowd, only to lose him a second later.</p><p>I won't eat pie. My wife and son don't understand that. And I have never tried to explain it.</p><p>Oh, yeah, that! I wandered for a few years, putting my handyman skills to the test. I stayed in hotels and motels all across the U.S. Only staying in one place a few weeks at a time. I finally decided to go back to school, not Stanford or a law degree…hotel management. I liked the hotel I was working in and the management saw potential in me. All I had to do was promise to come back to work at the hotel after I graduated.</p><p>I met Kelly Robards working at the hotel. She worked maid service, and I was Mr. Fix-it. A few dates and a few years down the road came marriage. Then came a tiny Winchester, John Dean, with a huge legacy to uphold. We call him JD or Dean, mostly Dean. He's got dark hair, green eyes, and a lot of attitude, just like his namesakes.</p><p>Dean, my Dean, had a normal childhood. No living in hotels. No looking for monsters for him. I did get him tatted when he was about 13, no real explanation to him or my wife, who also sports one. They knew it was important to me that they be protected. They are not sure against what. And, I am fine with that.</p><p>It's hard to be without Dean. The pain eases and the loss is not so acute as time passes. Even though I would never had experienced the joy of a wife and child had he lived. We would have been hunting. And I would have stayed hunting because I wouldn't have wanted him to go it alone. So, as much as I loved and still love my brother, his death brought me to another reality I would never have found any other way. Dean would have gotten along well with my wife. She would have been like a sister to him. And Big Dean would have taught Little Dean…I don't want to think about that. I don't want to think about the bad habits Little Dean may have picked up from his Uncle Dean.</p><p>The first house we got I made sure had a detached garage. That was going to be Baby's home. She would live there. She would stay there. I couldn't bring myself to drive her much. About 6 months after Dean's death I bought myself a car. Nothing pretty, nothing new. Just 100% practical, with seatbelts, which Baby does not possess. Kelly insisted on seatbelt for Little Dean. I couldn't bring myself to retrofit Baby. I couldn't do that to her. And I could only imagine what Dean would have had to say about it.</p><p>College as an older man was unreal. It was not partying for me. No frats to pledge, no young coeds to chase. But, in a good way it was no distractions. Well, no typical college distractions. At my age, I was dealing with a wife, kid, and the demands of being a home owner. But, the college time was enjoyable. I had had my youthful fun at Stanford during my prelaw years. Now, I could concentrate and do well, so that I could support my family.</p><p>Since his passing, at every stage of my life, I have wondered what Dean would have done. I've wondered how he would have handled the situations I have encountered. I've wondered what advice he would have given me. I've longed to have his advice through the years at different points in my life. I've longed to hear his voice. I've longed to be able to just pick up the phone and hear him on the other end. I have so wanted to share my milestones with him. It's been difficult going through life with no living relatives. Family reunions with Kelly's family are full of brothers, sisters, cousins, and grandparents. Winchester family reunions are non-existent.</p><p>I've told my Dean about his uncle and his grandparents. I've told him as much as I am comfortable about the life. But, that has not been much. I don't want him to know about that reality. But, just in case, the house is surrounded by salt. And I made up what I call, anti-hex bags, something I picked up from Rowena. They are in every corner, every closet in the house. Out of reach and out of sight, of course. They are not alone all have a bottle of Holy Water. And a few have rosaries with them. I'm out, and I will stay out. But, I can't turn an ignorant eye to the things I have seen. I've learned ignorance is not bliss. It is often deadly.</p><p>I still, twenty years later, get calls to go on hunts. Agent Bon Jovi still gets calls, I should say. And, the hunters that I have talked to, over the years, thought that the news of Dean Winchester's death was just rumor. Dean was going to live forever. That is what most of the hunting community…and I thought. He proved us all wrong. I'm guessing he's got it pretty good…over there. Since I have never seen him back here. No ghosts or phantoms that look or sound like Dean. And that's good, hunters don't get much peace or tranquility in this life. So, I guess, he's getting all he can handle in the next.</p><p>As this time passes, I have made my peace with many things that happened in my life. My Dean will grow up and leave and have a family of his own. He will discover his own truths and have to come to peace with his own life. But, I have to say, I never thought, as a young man making my way through this life, that I would ever have that opportunity. I never thought that time would come. I made my peace with Dean's death. That was the biggest thing. And it took years for me to get there.</p><p>Dean's death changed more people's lives than mine. Claire gave up hunting. She was devastated by Dean's death. She had always been a bit cavalier about the whole thing. But, his death made her see the reality of what a hunter's life could be. She turned in her knives and guns and bought a few textbooks. I told her, she argues so well, she ought to be a lawyer. She is employed by South Dakota's biggest law firm. Patience became a social worker. She gives readings on the side. Sarah's life didn't change much. She is still a nurse. Jodi and Donna stopped hunting pretty much the day I told them about Dean's death. The realities of that life came crashing in, hard, for us all that day.</p><p>Dean was not supposed to die that day. It had been the average day. The average hunt. Dean had said many times, many, many times that he wanted to go down swinging. And that is exactly what he did. That was the way he wanted to die. When I would talk about us growing old, those type things, he would always change the subject. He told me he would never grow old. He would never get the opportunity to see what that was like. I chose not to believe him. Not because I didn't think he knew what he was talking about. To the contrary, I was afraid he knew exactly what he was talking about. I couldn't face it. I didn't want to think about it.</p><p>It reminds me of that song with that line. 'I'm gonna live forever, if the good die young.' Dean Winchester was about as good as they got. A good brother. A good heart. And, a good soul.</p><p>My time will come, sooner and sooner with each day. I'll see him, still young, looking just as he did when he left. And it will be as if no time has passed, at all.</p><p>We'll get into the Impala, because Dean's heaven is not complete without his Baby, and we'll ride.</p><p> </p><p>THE END</p>
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